All we perceive it, life does not stop at the past and the future has not arrived. However, our minds, regardless of the will, seems to ignore. Insists on traveling to the future, in dreams, in fantasies, and even take decisions based on what we imagine. She, our minds, think independently and rethinks what happened to us in the past, as charming or as traumatic. And, although all We think this is a natural way to work, it really is the source of much unnecessary pain.
Many times this loading mechanism blame us for what we do. We are filled with fears and prejudices about the dangers that have not yet occurred. For example, when we identify the errors, we invade the shame and regret. We thought, "if only I had acted differently, or I would have realized that something was happening." And if you look at the future when we believe that everything can get worse, we are prisoners of anxieties and fears.
Thus, our Life is filled with painful feelings that attempts to justify the rationality but, of course, are completely superfluous. It is unfortunate that we end up using this, all that really exists to manage the unmanageable, what has already happened or what is to come. Modern life, however, is out of our hands.
At the consultation, people talk about situations that cause immense pain, and on many occasions, they discover the futility of that suffering. What happens is that while they're living complex situations, stay in the past or predict disaster is the mental mechanism that prevents them from seeing the solution.
"Why I am in a relationship in which I suffer so much?" Is a common question. Many people do. In talking about the explanations that they are facing this situation, how are you answers emerge: "At the end of the day, for each other. The next person will have other flaws, at the end of both choice I will stay alone, and nothing is worse than solitude. " If we delve into the conversation and risk a question like: "Even if your prediction came true, which is doubtful, is the loneliness worse than the suffering you have now?"
What probably we'll hear, first, is an explanation, well documented, which tell how many of you know who have finished their relations have not found a better opportunity. Second, you might see a detailed account of all the awful things that can happen to someone who is left alone, that is pervasive sadness, abandonment, poverty. Think, then, that there is salvation, that all is lost. It is assumed that in this scenario, all other sources of company disappear. The society is non-existent, friends, family. It is thought that the current partner is the only possible source of affection, as if it were the last person alive on the planet.
This leads us to think that disaster is imminent, inevitable. So, no way out, it is best to suffer, but accompanied. The important thing is that when they hear and accept themselves doubt their forecasts, they discover they are operating under the influence of two dangerous mechanisms. One, assuming that the future is one way, and two, that everything can be worse.
But is there another way of seeing things? No doubt. The important thing is to notice what is happening today and assess the pain felt. Put the mind in the here and now. One's ability to identify make friends, to accompany himself and others. Identify examples of people who have taken the decision to leave unnecessary suffering and, clearly, have increased their quality of life. Look what are the resources that are available for, then yes, decide if the relationship can work and improve, or otherwise, say goodbye and leave the suffering.
all know that thinking about our past allows us to learn. Nor are aware that life moves, goals and dreams that awaken in us the sense of daily business. But get us mentally in the past without a space to live the present, or imagine apocalyptic future, only serves to paint gray our existence. Tengámoslo clear: just a here and now fully aware, we reveal who we truly are, what our real dimension. And it also allows us to free ourselves from the guilt of an unchangeable past or the anxiety of a future unimaginable and unknown, both unnecessary suffering.
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